Homecoming

If I've ever seemed stand off-ish,
Or just like I'm lost in space,
It's because I feel so freaking awkward - 
Shy, quiet, unsure of my place. 

I don't want to interrupt -
Don't want to be a burden. 
Never know what to talk about, 
Or even quite what world I'm in. 

Unsure how to make or be a real friend, 
When I feel like I'm always hiding.
Biting my tongue, trying to fit in. 
There's a war inside me fighting.

Real me versus who you see. 
Fun, smiley, bubbly, impetuous.
Not this stick in the mud,
Scared and so serious. 

Enjoy life, love a joke, 
and can laugh at myself.
More adventurous than most folk,
But too short to put things on the top shelf!

While I know I'm still here, deep inside,
Trauma and survival are my ways of life.
I want to come out, not continue to hide,
But need to beat my own internal strife.