When we purchased the VR for our 10 year old daughter because it was on her Christmas list, we had no idea how much disruption and heartbreak such a device would come to cause in our house. From friendship betrayals, to being scammed and losing thousands of dollars, to horrible games, and awful people, the only romance I can relate to VR was the initial enjoyment that came from discovering different worlds and people. However once our daughter spent some time in those worlds and with those people, it soon became apparent it was a haven for horrible things.

What I noticed first was a warped sense of friendship, based on what one can do for you, or trade with you. This led to dependence on my daughter’s part, where she’d check in with certain people. When they weren’t online when she was, she’d become worried and depressed. When they disagreed with her, she’d quickly turn passive aggressive or submissive. Her expectation of what a friend should be has been changed and not for the better. We are working on recovering that realistic sense of what a friend is through playdates and discussions, modeling and reflection.

The next issue we ran into was scammers. Within certain games and within her circle of “friends.” Dealing with a child whose so-called friend “traded” them something then ghosted them is harrowing. Her anger, sadness, and loneliness broke my heart, while my anger toward this online ghost had nowhere to vent.

Even worse, although I always removed my card information after a purchase for her, we learned the hard way to not use a debit card. Someone charged $3000 within 30 minutes on our card to their account somehow. Meta was absolutely no help. The Google Play Store was no help. My bank covered the first time, but when it happened again, they couldn’t. We have since suspended making payments on the VR.

The final things I will mention are some societal issues. There are some horrible games out there, made by sick, sadistic psychos who should be locked up or shot. Their creators should not be allowed around children, animals, or society in general.

Couple some of these settings, with some of the awful people and what I’ve observed often becomes a gang mentality, and you have a virtual recipe for disaster in reality.

When we purchased the VR for our 10 year old daughter because it was on her Christmas list, we had no idea how much disruption and heartbreak such a device would come to cause in our house. From friendship betrayals, to being scammed and losing thousands of dollars, to horrible games, and awful people, the only romance I can relate to VR was the initial enjoyment that came from discovering different worlds and people. However once our daughter spent some time in those worlds and with those people, it soon became apparent it was a haven for horrible things.

What I noticed first was a warped sense of friendship, based on what one can do for you, or trade with you. This led to dependence on my daughter’s part, where she’d check in with certain people. When they weren’t online when she was, she’d become worried and depressed. When they disagreed with her, she’d quickly turn passive aggressive or submissive. Her expectation of what a friend should be has been changed and not for the better. We are working on recovering that realistic sense of what a friend is through playdates and discussions, modeling and reflection.

The next issue we ran into was scammers. Within certain games and within her circle of “friends.” Dealing with a child whose so-called friend “traded” them something then ghosted them is harrowing. Her anger, sadness, and loneliness broke my heart, while my anger toward this online ghost had nowhere to vent.

Even worse, although I always removed my card information after a purchase for her, we learned the hard way to not use a debit card. Someone charged $3000 within 30 minutes on our card to their account somehow. Meta was absolutely no help. The Google Play Store was no help. My bank covered the first time, but when it happened again, they couldn’t. We have since suspended making payments on the VR.

The final things I will mention are some societal issues. There are some horrible games out there, made by sick, sadistic psychos who should be locked up or shot. Their creators should not be allowed around children, animals, or society in general.

Couple some of these settings, with some of the awful people and what I’ve observed often becomes a gang mentality, and you have a virtual recipe for disaster in reality.