I know I'm not the sole reason The sun rises and there are seasons. I hear that there are more than a few Who know a lot more than I do. I haven't read all the books Or viewed everything worth a second look. There are facts and equations that blow my mind And concepts which I am decades behind. My synthesis of various information Comes from experience and paying attention.
But how do I find that balance of myself? Not buried below but not too high on a shelf? With confidence instead of arrogance. Weilding bravery instead of building fences. Speaking up when I should But only to do good. Holding my tongue when it harms But using it to compliment and warm. Knowing I am an important piece But not the only one at least.
The pressure that I fear and feel Crushes me until I can't tell what's real. Who expects what? And how? And when? Will my head ever stop spinning again? The grief that weighs on me like heavy water For both my darling, strong, amazing daughters Forces out tears and angry words. All I really want to do is stare at the birds. I'm envious that they fly free Away from the heaviness my life's turning out to be.
What makes Halloween romantic? Mystery and suspense and a little bit of naughtiness that we all love to love. Whether you love having the shit scared out of you, or eating the candy, or dressing up and being someone else for a day, everyone has a reason to fall in love with this romantic holiday.
Halloween brings out the witchy fun in all of us!
So what’s the history of Halloween? The legend of All Hallows Eve says that a thinly veiled boundary between this world and the next allows witches and otherworldly creatures more power on this night. “It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus,” right? Whether you believe this or not, it has become a traditional night for tricks and treats, spooks and sweets.
If you want to make this holiday romantic with a significant other, there are some perfect Halloween activities. Haunted houses are often fun and a great bonding experience, plus you may end up physically holding onto each other. If being scared isn’t for you, there are hayrack rides and pumpkin patches that can bring excitement and decor to your relationship. It’s also bonfire season, which is an economical, low-key date.
Carving pumpkins that you find yourself is a rewarding and fun couples, or family activity. To put a twist on it, draw themed ideas from a hat, or make it a contest!
As the weather gets chilllier, it’s also nice to enjoy indoor pursuits like watching football or movies. Some epic romantic Halloween movies include Hocus Pocus, The Addams Family, Scooby-Doo movies, Warm Bodies, and Blade.
How to Make a Spooky Haunted House
One of my favorite things to do with my husband is make a haunted house. We used to do it where he worked. Then we did it in our driveway. I’m not sure how we want to do it this year.
We start by gathering all the random Halloween decorations my mom has passed down and I’ve collected over the years. (That’s a lot. I mean A LOT a lot.)
After that, we categorize and pick a theme based on our budget and if we’ll need to buy things. I love to check dollar stores and Goodwill for Halloween things. I also keep an eye out at garage sales. And I do invest in inflatable decorations if they’re adorable or unique enough.
Then we make sure to incorporate all the senses in whatever design we come up with. There has to be a containment of some kind, whether it’s an event tent or small fencing or lights on the ground… whatever. Something to make people feel trapped or limited.
Then you add something for audio-sound effects, music, laughter-and put it together with lots of visuals from lots of directions. We tape Halloween ghouls and ghosts to the walls of a tent and street bones and body parts along the ground. Last year we put The Nightmare Before Christmas on a TV with a strobe light.
Adding an element of touch can be tricky. We’ve used slime and spaghetti in a hidden box you have to reach your hand in. Also hanging draperies that touch people as they walk by. Running a fan randomly can have a literally chilling effect. It also makes things move in interesting ways.
Using smell can be something as simple as candles or garbage, depending on the aroma you’re going for. A fog machine hits smell, straw has an odor, and dirt are all things we’ve used to create distinct smells in areas like a creepy dock, or a graveyard.
We used to make it a lot scarier. But then we had kids and it’s gone more family friendly. It adds excitement, teamwork, and brings the romance into the holiday.
So enjoy the romance of Halloween, as it brings mystery, excitement, and many things we love to fear to life!
There are a few things Helena was sure she’d never do: Date again and trust her home digital assistant, Genie, for personal advice. Now her marriage is not going well. Every day her husband and two kids would wake up late as usual, Helena would cook breakfast that would be gobbled down on the run. Then her husband would take the kids to school, and come home from work late. She was not happy but her kids were. Will she find happiness during her day? Will they stay together for the kids? Will she listen to Genie for personal advice? This romance captures the communication between a digital assistant and a Mom as she tries to find happiness.
I have never been considered a techie. I am of that generation who wrote things using pen and paper, but took a computer class in high school; one who knows the effort of researching without the internet and appreciates the amount of information we now have at our fingertips. I have witnessed a bag phone in my grandpa’s truck and remember when cell towers first started going up around my hometown.
The advancements that have been made in the last 50 years have changed the way we live as individuals, as a society, and as a planet. You can be an ocean away and communicate with the device in your pocket. You can pay with it like it’s a debit or credit card. You can order food using it without talking to anyone! You can set reminders for yourself, share important dates with family and friends, and capture important memories with cameras and videos. All from a cell phone.
As I start this new adventure of selling phones and accessories to the small town I grew up in, I wonder how I can bring mystery, excitement, and love in a healthy way to this industry.
The nervous feeling I get as someone comes to the door isn’t unpleasant. I’m excited to interact and fill a customer’s need, but I’m nervous about misquoting a price, or giving the wrong information about a phone. Not knowing everything wreaks havoc with my self- confidence!
However, the mystery of technology has made me realize that I’ll never know it all because it’s constantly evolving and changing. Even when we are in control of these changes (like a new device is released from Apple or Samsung) unexpected, unexplainable things can happen. Devices, just like people, all have different quirks. However, the mystery of technology has made me realize that I’ll never know it all because it’s constantly evolving and changing. Even when we are in control of these changes (like a new device is released from Apple or Samsung) unexpected, unexplainable things can happen. Devices, just like people, all have different quirks.
I’m becoming an expert at either avoiding those quirks or making individualized suggestions based on these differences. Have a ton of videos or photos stored? I can suggest a phone with more storage space or give a tutorial on the digital clouds that are out there. Play one game in particular? We’ll make sure it’s secure and up- to- date. Getting to know my customers does come with the risk of awkward moments. Knowing how much to ask but not asking too much is a fine balance to find with each individual customer. I’m becoming an expert at either avoiding those quirks or making individualized suggestions based on these differences. Have a ton of videos or photos stored? I can suggest a phone with more storage space or give a tutorial on the digital clouds that are out there. Play one game in particular? We’ll make sure it’s secure and up- to- date. Getting to know my customers does come with the risk of awkward moments. Knowing how much to ask but not asking too much is a fine balance to find with each individual customer.
Understanding what motivates their romance with their cell phone helps me meet their needs and wants. Encouraging customers to choose a phone that they understand can decrease stress, streamline and organize life, and bring back a happy customer.
Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus.
Mary Shelley is known for her famous work of science fiction, Frankenstein. She was a rebel of her time period in many ways. Her feminist mother perished when she was a baby, and her father was a combination of a philosopher and politician. Although not a traditional romance writer, her passion for solving life’s mysteries makes her an honorary member of the Women’s History Month Spotlight!
Her father eventually remarried, and although she endured her step-siblings, Mary did not care for her stepmother at all. She had grown up with a half-sister named Fanny from an affair her mother had with a soldier. Otherwise she had a somewhat bitter childhood where she was passed over for her step-siblings in terms of education and opportunities.
Although she had no formal education, she read from her father’s library extensively. She often spent time in educated and distinguished company, including authors, poets, philosophers, and doctors to mention a few. Many of her father’s family friends supported the idea of an educated mind.
She met her future husband through her father’s friends. He was studying under her father and already married, but the two soon ran away, taking her stepsister with them. Mary was still a teenager. This alienated her from her father and family for a long time.
Her relationship with Percy wasn’t all butterflies and rainbows however. They started a tour of Europe and visited many writers and famous places. At some point Mary became pregnant but they lost the baby within a few days of birth. This was just the first of many tragedies Mary survived.
Her half sister Fanny committed suicide while she was abroad. Shortly after that, Percy’s wife committed suicide. In December of 1816, Percy and Mary were able to officially wed. She documented their tour of Europe in her History of 6 Weeks’ Tour.
The idea for Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus, was inspired by a group of fellow writers challenging one another to a horror story writing contest. The Gothic novel was published anonymously in 1818. Many people assumed Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote the story because he wrote the prologue.
Percy and Mary had a tumultuous marriage at best. Between the adultery and heartbreak, two more children died young, leaving one son who survived to adulthood. Percy himself drowned while out sailing with friends, leaving Mary a widow and single mother at the age of 24.
Mary spent the remainder of her life writing and promoting her husband’s poetry and works. She published Valperga in 1823, The Last Man in 1826, and Lodore in 1835. Mathilde was published posthumously after she perished of brain cancer.
Mary Shelley not only branched out into the male-dominated literary world. She jumped into science-fiction and symbolism, Gothic horror and humanity’s issues. Because of her skill in addressing these issues Mary, Mary Shelley was one of the most influential female authors of all time.
Jane Austen’s style of writing and candid perspective paved the way for female romance authors for decades to come. The glimpse she gave readers into ordinary characters’ everyday lives and relationships was new and exciting. Raised in a large family, where education was valued, even in females, Ms. Austen was quite unique for her time. Her mother was known for her impromptu verse and stories, while her father was a scholarly reverend. She had six brothers and one sister, Catherine, who was named after their mother. They were a tight-knit, supportive family. When her father retired, he began to move them all around which resulted in connections and experiences that helped later in Ms. Austen’s professional life. Very little is actually known about her personal life, as she never kept a journal or diary, but instead wrote letters to her sister, Catherine.
Most of Jane Austen’s six major novels focus on making a social commentary about women’s dependence on marriage to gain social status among British land-owners. This recurring theme could stem from her experience being betrothed to a young man within her social circle, then breaking that betrothal the next day. Rumor was she loved someone else, but they died in some tragic way. Although she wrote novels that portrayed the complications of love and romance, she also believed in the happily ever after. She was more practical about marriage herself, however, often writing to her sister about how financial decisions dictated her relationships.
She wrote Juvenilia, also called Volumes of the First, Volumes of the Second, and Volumes of the Third early in her writing career. A collection of poetry, short stories, and parodies on society, it wasn’t published until much later. It was within sometime after the writing of this collection, particularly Love and Freindship (sic), that Austen began to seriously consider writing as a profession. She began many works that she would take breaks from or leave unfinished. She spent the middle years of her life writing profusely, eventually publishing four major novels anonymously during her lifetime. She continued to write up until her death. Although she wrote classic love stories, sadly she never seemed to find a love of her own.
Kindness has become a trend in recent years, especially on social media. This past week was actually Random Acts of Kindness week in the United States. But what if, instead of completing random acts of kindness, nearly every thought we had centered on being kind to one another?
Imagine how different our world would be! If we gave kindness purposefully, to those who need it most. Yes it’s great to just “sprinkle kindness like confetti,” but imagine if that kindness was more inherent within each of us. If it just came naturally. If it wasn’t sprinkled, but planted with purpose to make the world a kinder, more compassionate place.
Being kind means being friendly, even to people who don’t always agree with you. Sometimes even people who may not deserve your kindness. Saying hi, smiling, and having conversations with people is an act of kindness in itself. Friendliness may not come naturally, especially on days where you aren’t feeling on top of the world yourself. Looking beyond yourself and realizing that you have an impact on everyone you come into contact with and beyond can help you find that friendliness when you need it, even if you have to fake it a little.
Generosity is another aspect of kindness. Many people think this means donating money on a regular basis. You can be generous with your time, resources, talents, and patience, among other things. It can be a challenge, especially in trying times such as this, to feel generous. Either the need of others feels overwhelming to the point of paralysis, or you feel as if you barely have enough to get by so you don’t have enough to help other people. Taking the idea of monetary value away from generosity makes it more attainable. Everyone has strengths, which means everyone has something to give.
Deciding what to give means learning how to be considerate of other’s thoughts, feelings, backgrounds, and beliefs. Having consideration and compassion for others doesn’t mean giving up your rights to getting what you want (within reason). It just means taking into account their feelings while you go about doing that. It means having compassion for what someone has gone through to gain their differing perspectives on life. Letting that compassion guide your actions can help you take a kinder path.
Although being kind is much more complicated than just being friendly, generous, and considerate, those are three traits to focus on in order to begin living a more caring life.
So who should we be kind to in life? Does everyone deserve kindness? Even the mean and cruel people of the world? There are some people who will not deserve your kindness. It is up to you to set limits and boundaries based on your background and experiences. Trust your gut and use reason when dealing with people.
The people we should really be kind to in our lives are the loved ones we deal with on a daily basis. This can be a challenge because the ones we know best are the ones whose flaws we see most often. They are the ones we most easily get annoyed with. Remembering to be patient as well as friendly, generous, and considerate will help you spread kindness to those who matter most in your life.
Ways to habitually work kindness into your day, week, month, or even your year
Smile at people
Make eye contact
Say please and thank you
Open and hold doors for people
Answer phone calls
Hug people you know
Send cards and letters
Give genuine compliments
Take help when it is offered
Actively listen to others
Do a chore without being asked
Set aside your cell phone
Include people
Check in with your friends
Let someone in while driving or waiting in line
Offer your seat to someone
Leave a bowl of candy with an inspirational saying on it in the employee lounge
Drop off baked goods for neighbors or friends
Volunteer for a cause you feel connected to
If you have more ideas, please comment!
If it’s so easy, why aren’t we kind all the time? Why do we disrespect each other and judge one another? Many times cruelty, the opposite of kindness, comes from insecurities or trauma. Sometimes it is passed on from generation to generation as a defense mechanism. If one is raised in an environment of judgement and condemnation, it’s the type of environment one has been trained to create. So how can you deal with it when someone is cruel? How can you turn that situation or environment into a kind one? By returning their cruelty with kindness as much as possible. Those people who need kindness the most, other than the ones you care about, are those who act like they want it the least. I recommend the cliche “Killing them with kindness” because it allows you to be the hope in the situation, rather than the dire circumstance.
I’m extremely excited to announce I have earned a contract for 50 Things to Know About Teaching at a Community College for the 50 Things to Know About…book series, published by CZYK Publishing.
