I need a walk in the woods. Some time outside in the warm sun. A chance to believe there is still good in this world; Good that doesn’t have to be brought out by tragedy and terror. A chance to find magic & peace & the will to believe that there’s more to life than this, But if there isn’t, this is enough.
I need a break from the constant pull of social media & monsters among men. “Powerful” men & hidden men. Bombarding us with lies & half-truths, Propoganda & pornography. I need time with just the ones I love, The ones I work for, and the ones I miss in life.
I need to breathe beyond the priviliged air of my middle class life. Through the tear gas & flash bomb smoke, The screaming & yelling from both sides. For truth and justice avenging global innocence, lost and destroyed; Breathe beyond the safe space I’ve always known, and be brave, For those I’ve never known.
What they didn’t add is that it would be a rollercoaster of self-doubt, overwhelming love, laughter from the belly, tears from the soul, and more. You’ll get in line and wait nine months, give or take, full of joy and hope, but also misery and worry.
When you finally get to the front of the line, the excitement fights with the fear inside you. As you enter the ride and strap in, you realize you’re not sure what you’ve gotten yourself into. No matter how much you prepare yourself for the ride, you’re never truly ready until you’re forced to be.
As the ride starts to roll, all the questions fly through your head. Did I eat too much before I got on? Do I have anything in my pockets? What if the ride stops partway through? What if I fall off? Has anyone ever not survived this ride called motherhood?
Then the ride starts and you become too preoccupied with hanging on for the trip – enjoying the thrilling rises, and screaming during the sometimes devastating drops, and twists, and turns. Sometimes you witness the other riders dealing with the experience differently. Don’t jugdge them. You never know what their past rollercoaster rides have been like.
While it seems like it lasts forever, it also flies by and is over before you know it. Hang on tight and make sure to only close your eyes for a second at a time. If you blink, you may miss a part of the ride you can never get back.
When the ride pauses for people to exit, understand that for a mother, once you are on the rollercoaster of motherhood, there’s no getting off. The ride may stop for a bit to reload, but it’ll start just as soon as you can barely catch your breath. It’ll lift you up so that you feel on top of the world, and then it’ll crash you down so that you wonder if you’ve ever done anything right in your life.
The rollercoaster ride of motherhood is a reality that most women don’t understand as they get in line for it. It’s rewarding and restricting, beautiful but a burden. The best “fun” you’ll ever have in your life is the rollercoaster ride of motherhood.
If you’d like to donate toward our next rollercoaster ride, we’re planning a trip to Denmark with my oldest daughter’s soccer team. Check out her page here.
It feels sometimes like there's no relief No way to grow, but no way to leave. The duties tend to drag me down, Until all I want to feel is the ground.
Never knowing what to put first. Trying to guess what will hurt worst. Disappointing myself? Or letting down everyone else?
I don't know how to make it better. I'm not sure how to make it matter. We can't seem to shake this negative vibe. I'll just stay thankful we are all alive.
In this day and age of instant gratification and globalization, if you don’t spread the word about events going on, or important happenings, people just do not know. There is too much else going on!
This can affect event attendance, from a birthday party to a community music festival. A broken-hearted child who doesn’t have friends at his birthday party will feel that sadness for years. A musician who performs for a meager audience won’t return. Politicians who don’t report what’s happening in the courtrooms with laws and regulations don’t get many votes.
Publicity can also impact how successful businesses and communities are over time. The more people that attend events, the more growth that economy will see. This allows for more resources and opportunities to expand and better the quality of life. More parks. More programs. More benefits for everyone.
So getting the word out is key. And there are so many ways to do it. I’ve listed several of the most common for you below.
Social media channels – Write a simple post, add a picture, create an event, and even invite people digitally through many social media platforms.
Email – Sending an email invitation or reminder is never a bad idea!
Face-to-face – Don’t forget to talk about what the event or newsworthy item is and what will be happening at it.
Radio – A quick announcement over the radio is one way to get the word out to a lot of people. You have to keep it short and sweet though. Including a song or jingle can be helpful.
Print – Whether you’re handing them out by hand, or mailing them, a printed announcement, article, or invitation often has the best personal touch.
News or media outlets – These folks have amazing resources to help put our your information or event. Utilize them as long as they’ll let you, but be grateful for the space they give you. Sending press releases is another way to get your information to the news and media. 24-7 Press Release can help you get started with that!
Obviously the audience you’re trying to reach will also help determine how you spread the word and make announcements. But the romance, or the mystery and excitement of trying to get the word out comes with the fun of planning the event, or the hard work of researching to a conclusive announcement. The romantic feeling during this planning and publicizing comes from the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” You can send out announcements, or remind people of an event or fact until you’re blue in the face. If they don’t want to hear it, they won’t.
Getting people to hear you is another article all together, though, so don’t forget to come back for “The Romance of Being Heard.” Until then, keep utilizing multiple ways to spread the word, being aware of your audience and purpose. This will help keep life exciting and romantic!
If I've ever seemed stand off-ish,
Or just like I'm lost in space,
It's because I feel so freaking awkward -
Shy, quiet, unsure of my place.
I don't want to interrupt -
Don't want to be a burden.
Never know what to talk about,
Or even quite what world I'm in.
Unsure how to make or be a real friend,
When I feel like I'm always hiding.
Biting my tongue, trying to fit in.
There's a war inside me fighting.
Real me versus who you see.
Fun, smiley, bubbly, impetuous.
Not this stick in the mud,
Scared and so serious.
Enjoy life, love a joke,
and can laugh at myself.
More adventurous than most folk,
But too short to put things on the top shelf!
While I know I'm still here, deep inside,
Trauma and survival are my ways of life.
I want to come out, not continue to hide,
But need to beat my own internal strife.
The search for joy has helped me recently rediscover the romance I was afraid I’d lost. I’m sorry for my long break from here. I thought I’d become too busy to take care of this blog and website. Had too much going on to take the time to relax and decompress. Too many people needed something, or wanted something. But I’m back. And ready to talk romance on a regular basis!
Why? Because it brings me joy.
While being busy is what I thrive on, I sometimes find it hard to let go and just do nothing. Relaxing to me is crossing things off my to-do list.
But is this really relaxing? Or is this just fulfilling the drive for productivity that’s been ingrained within me since before birth. For decades now, Western society has run on the belief that getting things done, effectively and efficiently are key indicators of success. As we search for more and better ways of doing things, are we truly finding joy?
Do getting these things done really help me to let go of stress and pressure, or do they just keep me in the habit of feeling like I always have to be doing something, even on my days off?
Me to myself
I recently watched Marie Kondo’s television series, “Tidying Up,” based on her best-selling book, and realized I had a whole host of commitments, both physical, time, and emotional, that were not bringing me joy. As I’ve slowly begun to purge these, I’ve been able to make time for true relaxing and self-care.
Marie Kondo’s best-seller, which the show Tidying Up on Netflix is based on.
So how can you start to find relaxing romantic and rewarding again? It almost seems as if we have to train ourselves to do it, until it becomes a habit, and then eventually an inherent trait. I’ve tried multiple of the strategies below and many have become habits for stages of my life. Then when life’s thrown me curveballs, I’ve had to revise and rediscover other ways of relaxing.
My top go-tos for relaxing:
Guided meditation from YouTube Channels, preferably on my back porch when it’s nice outside.
One of my favorite guided meditations can be found here, from Boho Beautiful Yoga.
I walk outside in the woods. No. Seriously. Did this before it was a thing.
Reading a romance or dirty novel. Trying to find a quiet spot at a time I won’t fall asleep instead is the key to this one.
Purging my house and closets and garage and wherever else I may exist of anything that isn’t necessary or doesn’t bring me a feeling of joy.
Letting go of expectations (others and sometimes my own) and just living the life I’ve been given with joy and thanks.
There’s no end-all, be-all answer for this one, as everyone finds different activities relaxing. Some might enjoy meditating and having ten minutes to themselves in a day. Others might need a strenuous workout that drains them of their worries and doubts. Others might want to walk outside, or read a book, or write an article.
The website Mental Floss recommends “11 Scientifically Proven Tips for Relaxing.”
Chew gum
Surround yourself with plants
Mow the lawn
Listen to music, specifically Classical
Kiss someone
Reduce screentime, especially before bed
Drink tea
Breathe into a brown bag
Eat some chocolate
Eat something citrusy
Have a good laugh
The key to being in love with the idea of relaxing is to prioritize time for these activities (or non-activities!) You will need to make time to relax, which means something else in your schedule may need to shift. It’s always difficult to give a hobby or chore less time, but ask yourself if this activity is bringing you more joy than taking time to relax.
Remember, the search for joy has helped me recently rediscover the romance in relaxing. Find your way to relaxation and joy through romance, too!
What makes Halloween romantic? Mystery and suspense and a little bit of naughtiness that we all love to love. Whether you love having the shit scared out of you, or eating the candy, or dressing up and being someone else for a day, everyone has a reason to fall in love with this romantic holiday.
Halloween brings out the witchy fun in all of us!
So what’s the history of Halloween? The legend of All Hallows Eve says that a thinly veiled boundary between this world and the next allows witches and otherworldly creatures more power on this night. “It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus,” right? Whether you believe this or not, it has become a traditional night for tricks and treats, spooks and sweets.
If you want to make this holiday romantic with a significant other, there are some perfect Halloween activities. Haunted houses are often fun and a great bonding experience, plus you may end up physically holding onto each other. If being scared isn’t for you, there are hayrack rides and pumpkin patches that can bring excitement and decor to your relationship. It’s also bonfire season, which is an economical, low-key date.
Carving pumpkins that you find yourself is a rewarding and fun couples, or family activity. To put a twist on it, draw themed ideas from a hat, or make it a contest!
As the weather gets chilllier, it’s also nice to enjoy indoor pursuits like watching football or movies. Some epic romantic Halloween movies include Hocus Pocus, The Addams Family, Scooby-Doo movies, Warm Bodies, and Blade.
How to Make a Spooky Haunted House
One of my favorite things to do with my husband is make a haunted house. We used to do it where he worked. Then we did it in our driveway. I’m not sure how we want to do it this year.
We start by gathering all the random Halloween decorations my mom has passed down and I’ve collected over the years. (That’s a lot. I mean A LOT a lot.)
After that, we categorize and pick a theme based on our budget and if we’ll need to buy things. I love to check dollar stores and Goodwill for Halloween things. I also keep an eye out at garage sales. And I do invest in inflatable decorations if they’re adorable or unique enough.
Then we make sure to incorporate all the senses in whatever design we come up with. There has to be a containment of some kind, whether it’s an event tent or small fencing or lights on the ground… whatever. Something to make people feel trapped or limited.
Then you add something for audio-sound effects, music, laughter-and put it together with lots of visuals from lots of directions. We tape Halloween ghouls and ghosts to the walls of a tent and street bones and body parts along the ground. Last year we put The Nightmare Before Christmas on a TV with a strobe light.
Adding an element of touch can be tricky. We’ve used slime and spaghetti in a hidden box you have to reach your hand in. Also hanging draperies that touch people as they walk by. Running a fan randomly can have a literally chilling effect. It also makes things move in interesting ways.
Using smell can be something as simple as candles or garbage, depending on the aroma you’re going for. A fog machine hits smell, straw has an odor, and dirt are all things we’ve used to create distinct smells in areas like a creepy dock, or a graveyard.
We used to make it a lot scarier. But then we had kids and it’s gone more family friendly. It adds excitement, teamwork, and brings the romance into the holiday.
So enjoy the romance of Halloween, as it brings mystery, excitement, and many things we love to fear to life!
There are a few things Helena was sure she’d never do: Date again and trust her home digital assistant, Genie, for personal advice. Now her marriage is not going well. Every day her husband and two kids would wake up late as usual, Helena would cook breakfast that would be gobbled down on the run. Then her husband would take the kids to school, and come home from work late. She was not happy but her kids were. Will she find happiness during her day? Will they stay together for the kids? Will she listen to Genie for personal advice? This romance captures the communication between a digital assistant and a Mom as she tries to find happiness.
Jane Austen’s style of writing and candid perspective paved the way for female romance authors for decades to come. The glimpse she gave readers into ordinary characters’ everyday lives and relationships was new and exciting. Raised in a large family, where education was valued, even in females, Ms. Austen was quite unique for her time. Her mother was known for her impromptu verse and stories, while her father was a scholarly reverend. She had six brothers and one sister, Catherine, who was named after their mother. They were a tight-knit, supportive family. When her father retired, he began to move them all around which resulted in connections and experiences that helped later in Ms. Austen’s professional life. Very little is actually known about her personal life, as she never kept a journal or diary, but instead wrote letters to her sister, Catherine.
Most of Jane Austen’s six major novels focus on making a social commentary about women’s dependence on marriage to gain social status among British land-owners. This recurring theme could stem from her experience being betrothed to a young man within her social circle, then breaking that betrothal the next day. Rumor was she loved someone else, but they died in some tragic way. Although she wrote novels that portrayed the complications of love and romance, she also believed in the happily ever after. She was more practical about marriage herself, however, often writing to her sister about how financial decisions dictated her relationships.
She wrote Juvenilia, also called Volumes of the First, Volumes of the Second, and Volumes of the Third early in her writing career. A collection of poetry, short stories, and parodies on society, it wasn’t published until much later. It was within sometime after the writing of this collection, particularly Love and Freindship (sic), that Austen began to seriously consider writing as a profession. She began many works that she would take breaks from or leave unfinished. She spent the middle years of her life writing profusely, eventually publishing four major novels anonymously during her lifetime. She continued to write up until her death. Although she wrote classic love stories, sadly she never seemed to find a love of her own.
