With the end of October and Halloween, the holiday season begins. This amazing month-by-month celebration of the winter months that seems to fly by even as it drags its feet can be fun-filled, joyous, and merry. But it can also be stressful and overwhelming.

So how can you make sure you focus on the romance of the holidays, rather than the pressure?

Remember the reason for the season.

Thanksgiving is a time to gain perspective. Although the history that’s been painted in textbooks isn’t entirely accurate, the philosophy of helping others and being grateful should live on. Today’s society should remember back to a time when individuals were happy for a roof, food, and clothing. The extras we have now that offer convenience, comfort, and entertainment are just that – extras. Being grateful for the simple things in life is one way to focus on the romance of the season.

Christmas is a time to celebrate the chance to be alive. Although it’s a religious holiday, it’s a holiday based on hope. The hope of a new baby. The hope of a new leader. The hope of a new year. The hope of a second chance. Although it is easy to get caught up in the materialism of the holiday, remembering the origins of it can help ground us in a more mindful, romantic season.

Focusing on gratitude and giving

• Keep a gratitude journal, either prompted or unprompted. This can be as structured or chaotic as you want. Whatever serves your purpose of feeling thankful for what you have in life. I make a list with two columns titled “Happy or Excited About” and “Worried About.” This helps simplify and focus my life. I am able to realize I have so much to be grateful for and that my worries are usually things I can let go of or work toward solving.
• Reach out to old friends. The holidays are often times for reminiscing. Being grateful to those who have helped shape who we are, whether negative or positive influences, shows a certain maturity and helps the focus remain positive. Send out a text message, make a phone call, mail a letter, invite them to Skype you. The romance of getting in touch again can be refreshing and rejuvenating.
• Clean out those closets! Give what you don’t need anymore to a charity or individual in need. Not only does the act of giving stimulate the reward center of the brain, this kind of giving helps simplify your life so you can focus on what you need to in life. Clearing out some of the materialistic clutter will help disperse the stress and pressure of keeping things clean and neat. You’ll also have more room to hide those gifts for people!
• Rake some leaves or shovel some driveways. For other people. Not only does physical activity help brain function in general, getting out and doing that physical activity for someone else is a double whammy of positive chemicals in your brain. You get an exercise high, as well as what’s called a “helper’s high.”
• Send out holiday cards. They don’t have to be fancy or expensive, but sending something through snail mail always leaves me with a satisfied feeling. This is one of the easiest ways to spread holiday cheer, because who doesn’t like getting cards in the mailbox? The romance of who I will get cards from brings me joy every holiday season.
• Make or give holiday cookies. The smell of baking cookies in my house always brings a smile to my face. You obviously don’t need to limit yourself to cookies. If you love cooking or baking something else, do that with the intention of giving it to someone. Food helps us feel united and connected to others, which can help create a feeling of gratitude and optimism.
• Avoid the news. Don’t live under a rock, but listen in a limited, selective way. There is some truth to the saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” The media has a tendency to find stories that are shock-worthy, and oftentimes these can be emotionally upsetting to viewers. Living life without knowing all the nasty news going on around us can help you focus on the good things in life.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. Each family has it’s own traditions and expectations of holidays. Just because your neighbor has the whole block lit up with Christmas lights, or your sister has a mountain of gifts under the tree, or your friend’s Elf on the Shelf is the most creative, mischievous little bugger out there, doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. Life isn’t a competition, other than against your old self. As long as you are bettering yourself in a consistent way, you don’t need to worry about other people being better than you. Mastering this psychological task can help you regain the romance with yourself.
• Let go of holiday expectations. We get a picture in our mind of how something should look or be. The stress comes when it doesn’t work out how we’d hoped. Be grateful for whatever happens, especially during this 2020 holiday season. Christmas will look different, and traditions may have to change a little. Being accepting of the situations we cannot control, and working on our reaction to these situations is one way to have a more positive outlook on life in general.

Follow these tips to help have a fun-filled, romantic holiday season!