My Romance with Money

Money and I have a love/hate relationship. I love it when I have it. Hate it when I don’t. However, I tend to spend money like I don’t have to work for it (which is entirely untrue.) So we continue to have this relationship, which any expert can tell you is unhealthy.

Why is money romantic?

Money is exciting because it can buy the things we want. It can help us experience the journey of life with more opportunities and variety. The mystery of money seems simple enough to solve. You work for it. You get it. You spend it. You need it again. What’s surprising about that formula? Sometimes, instead of saving that money for when they do need it again, people (myself included) spend it on what they want instead of need.

Why do we spend money?

Besides the basic reasons like survival, we spend money to entertain ourselves, to prove status to others, to maintain a lifestyle we think we deserve. According to Forbes, we spend money we don’t have “to feel good…to keep up…because credit makes it easy…” and “because ignorance is bliss.” Psychologists have proven the existence of retail therapy, or feeling better about yourself through shopping. Many times we spend money to stick with the trends or our circle of peers. Credit cards make spending money far too easy, and some people just don’t pay enough attention to detail.

Sometimes the noblest of us spend money on others. Whether this includes the people closest to us, or people most in need, spending this money on other people hints at a giving and compassionate nature. However, at times it is merely that it is easier to spend the money than see the disappointment on someone else’s face that you didn’t.

My biggest downfall financially is that when I feel bad about myself or stressed out, I treat myself to retail therapy. I tell myself I deserve a treat because of all the stress and tasks I’ve been doing, and I hit up a store downtown, or click on amazon.com. Sometimes the targeted marketing on apps like Facebook gets me and I end up with a cart full of items I had no intention of looking for, much less purchasing!

So how can you start saving money?

Saving your money is like saving your romance. It takes time, attention-to-detail, and prioritizing. You can’t expect to feel less stressed about finances instantly unless you are lucky enough to come into an unforeseen inheritance or win the lottery.

Expect it to take Time

Because life does cost money, knowing how much you spend weekly or monthly allows you to put aside at least a little every paycheck. This is long-term planning and gratification. People struggle with this because they have to be patient as they save their money. The best way I’ve found for myself is keeping small, labeled envelopes to put tip money or extra cash in. They have labels like pets, kids’ sports, vacation, automobile/motorcycle, skydiving, and rainy day. It helps me see what the end goal is and how far away I am from getting there. It also keeps it out of my checking account, which makes it more difficult to spend. Swiping a card or clicking a button versus counting out physical cash has made spending far too easy at times.

Pay Attention to the Details

Setting up and sticking to a detailed budget is another way to help you save money. Knowing where your money is going helps to eliminate unneeded spending. Prioritizing your most important expenses either by due date or by amount keeps your checking balance positive. Why is sticking to a budget so difficult for some people, however? Keeping track of the details can be a challenge. Online banking has made this much easier, though. I am able to check my statements online and see where I’m straying from my budget.

Prioritize and know your weaknesses

My biggest money-suckers are eating out, toys for my daughters, online targeted ads, and thrift shopping. I love all of these things, but have come to realize putting money towards other priorities like bills and the future helps more with the long-term stress than the instant gratification of spending money. At least twice a year, I make a list of all of our expenses. I number that list according to what I think is the highest need first. Then I adjust it based on the highest cost or closest due dates for certain needed expenses. Then I add in the things we want (vacations, toys, electronics, etc.) and prioritize them.

Most of my needed expenses are electronically withdrawn from my checking account, while the wanted expenses come from the cash in the labeled envelopes. It’s not a perfect system, and I’ve definitely had to pull cash from the envelopes to pay for needs before, but you have to find what works best for you.

Once you’ve figured this out, your romance with money will turn into a healthy, balanced relationship. It will always be a work in progress, and life will throw unexpected challenges at you, but that’s why I have my “Rainy Day” envelope!