The search for joy has helped me recently rediscover the romance I was afraid I’d lost. I’m sorry for my long break from here. I thought I’d become too busy to take care of this blog and website. Had too much going on to take the time to relax and decompress. Too many people needed something, or wanted something. But I’m back. And ready to talk romance on a regular basis!
Why? Because it brings me joy.
While being busy is what I thrive on, I sometimes find it hard to let go and just do nothing. Relaxing to me is crossing things off my to-do list.
But is this really relaxing? Or is this just fulfilling the drive for productivity that’s been ingrained within me since before birth. For decades now, Western society has run on the belief that getting things done, effectively and efficiently are key indicators of success. As we search for more and better ways of doing things, are we truly finding joy?
Do getting these things done really help me to let go of stress and pressure, or do they just keep me in the habit of feeling like I always have to be doing something, even on my days off?
Me to myself
I recently watched Marie Kondo’s television series, “Tidying Up,” based on her best-selling book, and realized I had a whole host of commitments, both physical, time, and emotional, that were not bringing me joy. As I’ve slowly begun to purge these, I’ve been able to make time for true relaxing and self-care.
So how can you start to find relaxing romantic and rewarding again? It almost seems as if we have to train ourselves to do it, until it becomes a habit, and then eventually an inherent trait. I’ve tried multiple of the strategies below and many have become habits for stages of my life. Then when life’s thrown me curveballs, I’ve had to revise and rediscover other ways of relaxing.
My top go-tos for relaxing:
- Guided meditation from YouTube Channels, preferably on my back porch when it’s nice outside.
- One of my favorite guided meditations can be found here, from Boho Beautiful Yoga.
- I walk outside in the woods. No. Seriously. Did this before it was a thing.
- Reading a romance or dirty novel. Trying to find a quiet spot at a time I won’t fall asleep instead is the key to this one.
- Purging my house and closets and garage and wherever else I may exist of anything that isn’t necessary or doesn’t bring me a feeling of joy.
- Letting go of expectations (others and sometimes my own) and just living the life I’ve been given with joy and thanks.
There’s no end-all, be-all answer for this one, as everyone finds different activities relaxing. Some might enjoy meditating and having ten minutes to themselves in a day. Others might need a strenuous workout that drains them of their worries and doubts. Others might want to walk outside, or read a book, or write an article.
The website Mental Floss recommends “11 Scientifically Proven Tips for Relaxing.”
- Chew gum
- Surround yourself with plants
- Mow the lawn
- Listen to music, specifically Classical
- Kiss someone
- Reduce screentime, especially before bed
- Drink tea
- Breathe into a brown bag
- Eat some chocolate
- Eat something citrusy
- Have a good laugh
The key to being in love with the idea of relaxing is to prioritize time for these activities (or non-activities!) You will need to make time to relax, which means something else in your schedule may need to shift. It’s always difficult to give a hobby or chore less time, but ask yourself if this activity is bringing you more joy than taking time to relax.
Remember, the search for joy has helped me recently rediscover the romance in relaxing. Find your way to relaxation and joy through romance, too!
A few pics below of who and what bring me joy!
Source:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/503519/11-scientifically-proven-tips-relaxing
Inspiring the Works of Valerie Jean 
Leave a comment